Week 2 - 1 Week Ago

So, I have been WAY too busy to find time for blogging! Gonna have to figure out a time to sit down and do this more often. We currently wrapped up our third week of lectures, however, I am going to jump back in this post to catch you up to speed! So, the information here pertains to week 2 :)

Staffing a school is probably the most busy I've been in my entire life. Wake up around 5:15 a.m. and literally go, go, go, go, go, go until after 8 p.m. and then try and find time to be social on campus with our school, respond to text messages, work on USANA, try and think about blogging, find personal quiet time, etc. Pretty crazy.

I absolutely love it tho. At times it can be very overwhelming because just when you think you'll have a short time to yourself, another meeting is announced and off you go! However, once you get used to the expectations and demands, you learn to just go with it. Put your "needs" aside and help in any way you can! I knew staffing this school would be crazy busy, however, I didn't realize just how much work went on outside of the classroom as well as inside. 

I have been given the job of "Hospitality" - meaning figure out the budget for food, do the grocery shopping, plan out snacks, prepare food/drinks, clean classroom before and after class, maintain our patio area, constant dishes, etc. Basically make sure everything is stocked, prepared and perfect.  It seems pretty simple, ya? Well, being a perfectionist I assure you it isn't so simple :)

 I also have 4 work duty girls that help me from 3-5 p.m. every afternoon, so I have to make a schedule for them, and apparently delegation is NOT one of my strengths! I have learned a lot about myself lately, especially the fact that I do everything on my own and don't necessarily like to ask for help. 

It's bad enough to be doing everything out of my own strength and wanting everything my way - but I got pretty convicted about not even leaning on God for anything! No wonder it was so hard! 

(The Message) Proverbs 3:5-12 

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; 

don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do, 
everywhere you go; 

He's the one who will keep you on track.

Don't assume that you know it all.

Run to God, run from evil.

Your body will glow with health, 

your very bones will vibrate with life!

Honor God in everything you own; 

give Him the first and the best.

Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over.

But do not, dear friend, resent God's discipline,

Don't sulk under His loving correction.

It's the child He loves that God corrects;

a Father's delight is behind all this."

Pretty much speaks right at my face.

I find it more stressful to plan a job for each of the girls than to just do it all myself. I am also learning that isn't helping others at all! It feels pretty crappy when you do something and someone instantly criticizes, fixes, or changes it. Apparently, I'm that person. God is definitely stretching me in this season ! After the stretching I am so grateful and feel like the blinders have been removed, however, DURING the stretching period I feel so annoyed, bitter, and bad. I'm so thankful tho to have such a loving Father that loves to teach me and understands my mess up's! Praise the Lord.

On another note.. I got baptized again! 

The beautiful Andrea, Renee and Stephanie

Being baptized in the ocean by 

Mr. Kenny Peavey!

I hadn't really planned on being baptized a second time, wasn't anything I'd given much thought to or even expected to be doing! But man, did the Holy Spirit do some work in me our second week of lectures! Kenny Peavey was our speaker and through his spirit lead teaching we were all pretty much rocked.

I basically just wanted to re-commit my life to Christ. I felt when I first "accepted Christ" 5 years ago I was on fire, hungry for more and definitely changed my life around for the better! I enjoyed going to church, learning more about God, and taking many baby steps. Everything was going well. I then made the move to Wyoming, quickly connected with CMA (Christian Missionary Alliance, Church) and continued to live a life after Christ. I definitely grew a lot while living in Cody, then continued on to Australia to complete my DTS with YWAM. Thru YWAM I learned so much about God, heaven, spiritual warfare, the Bible and so much more - I fell in love.

 Honestly tho, reflecting back, I felt as tho everything I had learned was simply "head knowledge" and not in my heart, I wasn't truly hearing what was being taught. I had learned so much over the years, seeking to be "that trusting Christ follower who loves Jesus", I'd tell anyone about Him and how He's changed my life, but I've been missing the simplest piece. I was trying, putting in the hours, asking God and not always listening or expecting an answer, I was doing, doing, doing and not receiving. I wasn't receiving the Love God so generously wants to lavish me with! I was "trying to please Him" to show Him I could do good and know what all the other Christ followers know! But that isn't what he wants. It doesn't impress Him.

He wanted me.

He wants me and me alone.

God wants to run away with me.

Imagine a girl in a field full of daisies, beautiful mountains behind her.

Blonde hair with the beautiful sun-kissed glow.

 Spinning/dancing around and around, with no care in the world what she looks like because the one looking at her sees her as absolutely perfect.

The most beautiful woman He's ever seen.

Not wanting to change a thing.

Being swept off her feet and spun round and round.

She's not self conscience. 

She's not worried.
There is no fear.

The biggest smile her face has ever shown.

Being deeply and madly in love.

Running freely, hand in hand.

Freedom.

THAT is how God feels about me. About you.

"There is no end to the affection YOU have for me"

"His Words are more real than the mountains behind us and the earth under our feet"

"Who the son sets free, he is free indeed"

For the first time in my life, I have felt this and truly understood it.

How many times has someone told you "Jesus loves you?"
It's such an amazing statement, but so many people don't take it any deeper, don't seek to find understanding. Sadly, it's as common as finding a penny on the ground; not life changing.

I have had a personal relationship with Jesus for the past 5 years, and have just now had revelation.

I had to let go of control.
 I had to stop trying to figure every little thing out.
 Stop trying to find out the "how's" and "why's" of everything, and JUST BE.

There's a reason for Psalm 46:10 "Be Still and Know That I Am God"

It's a simple fact.

This relationship Jesus is seeking is so simple.
It's not about how much you know, how much good you do, surprisingly, it's not even about you ;)
All Jesus wants is a relationship. He is Abba. Father. He wants to be present in all my decisions, conversations, everything I do.
Do you ever see how a father and daughter relationship works!? Not in silence, or guilt, or trying to always say or be who he wants. 
It's laughter, love, conversation. Sure you'll have your up's and down's, a father disciplines out of Love.

We make it ridiculously harder than it has to be.
Ponder this for the day. And the next day.
Interesting, eh?

I want to encourage you to go to Amazon.com - Barnes & Noble - or some book store and pick up Joyce Meyer's "Tell Them I Love Them"

It's maybe 20 pages long? There are 7 chapters, one for each day of the week.

Super short reads. 

Continue reading it day after day, time after time. See what's revealed in your Heart.

I'd love to hear how you're doing if you take this challenge. 

Feel free to make my day better by updating me :)

I'm pretty stoked for what God's been doing in my heart and life. For the first time ever, I can literally feel Him hugging me. I can feel when He puts his arm around me when I need someone. It's the most uplifting, beautiful presence I've ever been around. I'm so thankful to know He's always near, He never has left me, forsaken me, or abandoned me. When it feels like all the world has walked out, how wonderful is it to know I couldn't do anything to make God leave my side.

That's true love.

And honestly, He loves every single one of His children this way.

 And my dear friend, that includes you.

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I love you all and thank you for taking the time to read my long blog posts! I always start them with the intention of keeping it short and sweet, but then my mind and hands just go! I hope that every person reading this will one day know the love God has for you. If you have any questions, I'd love to chat!

Mahalo!!