The New School & What I've Learned

Transitioning from one school to another is NOT easy!

My first batch of students left for outreach on December 24th, which then left us with about 10 days to transition and prep for the next school!

I didn't think this would be that big of a challenge, aside from making new manuals, decorating the classroom, beautification day, and all the little physical jobs we knew needed to be done.

But man, mentally and emotionally I was not prepared! It wasn't hard for me to say goodbye to my students because they're going on outreach and I'm SUPER pumped for them! However, I didn't realize it'd be so hard saying hello to my current students.

We had registration day on January 3rd (which is a crazy day when every single student, from every school, flies in). We met in O'Hana Court around 8am to begin!

 Only problem, I woke up sick.

Whilst in the transition phase, I got out of my normal routine, stopped taking my vitamins, and before I knew it my body was shutting down. And fast.

So, after sitting in O'Hana Court for 12 hours, I was pretty well shot.

The next morning I couldn't even get out of bed. My nose was running so bad I had tissues just shoved up it to clog it! Haha, cute I know.

I ended up missing the Welcome Ceremony that is pretty epic. 

Same as my first description many blogs ago. Gather at the flags, walk with native Islander's to O'Hana Court to present gifts, take a tour around campus, have time to meet as a school - then in the afternoon there's a Hawaiian barbecue, followed by a celebration in O'Hana Court. 

Thankfully, I slept through all of it.

This is O'Hana court for the Welcome Ceremony in the morning.

Biggest quarter in YWAM history!

This is now what our food line looks like.

Generally about at least 25-30 minutes waiting in line, but it'll get better as the quarter goes on :)

Very first night students arrived, our dear sweet student decided to get his longboard out and hit the hills.. Accident #1.

So, life has been pretty eventful! After our students arrived and the Welcome Ceremony was had, they spent their first Saturday at the beach! I was still sleeping the day away, but completely content. I had no energy to try and beach it up with them! I spent the weekend relaxing, resting and fighting off the illness. Little did I know, I missed a pretty major time of bonding. 

I was well enough by Monday to attend class.. however, I barely knew anyone's names and everyone was already "best friends"! I felt like a complete outsider walking in to our classroom Monday, it was quite a bummer.

So, as lectures began and our busy schedules picked up once again it was very hard for me to feel like I was in the right place. I struggled for a bit, doubted if I was supposed to be staffing this school and was pretty much having a pity-party. Horrible idea.

But praise be to God, come the second week of lectures things started looking up! 

We grew way deeper as a school, definitely bonded and now I absolutely LOVE our students!

I definitely was in a lull with the Lord, doubting Him and if I was hearing Him correctly.

I was being pretty pissy with my fellow staff, irritated by everything, and then revelation just hit me like a hammer. I was being super stubborn, prideful, and avoiding situations like it was my job.

I just didn't want to deal with anything or anybody. Which is a bad place to be when you're in leadership. 

Thankfully tho, it didn't last long.

I basically made myself start doing things opposite of what I wanted to do. 

When I wanted to be alone, I went around people.

When I wanted to skip something, I showed up early.

When I wanted to say something, I made myself be quiet.

And little by little God began speaking to me and working thru the situations alongside me.

Funny thing is, He had been doing that all along.

I was just being too stubborn to admit it or look for His help.

I absolutely love God.

I love that what he calls us to do is love others.

How much joy, satisfaction, peace of mind, etc. was I receiving being pissed off and letting every little thing bother me?

The mind is a powerful thing, but once you begin to distinguish who is telling you to do what, life get's so much better.

God would never tell me to say something that would hurt someone else.

God doesn't want me avoiding his beloved children.

God doesn't want me controlling every situation and every last detail.

I had already sub-consciously set so many expectations, that I left no room for God.

None whatsoever.

And what did I reap of this?

Disbelief. Doubt. Guilt. "Poor me" mentality. Feeling as tho nobody liked me or wanted me around.

Rubbish.

Once I realized the situation I had let myself get in to, I knew I had to leave it as soon as possible.

I began spending more time with the Lord. Reacting and seeing people the way He sees them.

I let myself be overcome by His love, and in turn it flowed out of me, and hallelujah life is wonderful.

How many times do you let someone or something ruin your day?

How often do you get in a down mood and allow yourself to stay there?

How many times a day do you say something negative to yourself?

Friend.. You don't have to stay there.

I thank the Lord every single day that I am continually learning and growing and that I'm not going to be perfect, nor do I intend to be perfect. 

I know I'm a child of the Lord Most High and my puny little thoughts are nothing compared to HIM.

He is beautiful, perfect, wants nothing but good.. Loves us enough to give us freedom and choice.

Friend, choose the right path today.

Choose joy.

Choose life.

Choose the positive thoughts.

Speak positively to yourself and others, and feel the difference!

You know that feeling, when you do something AMAZING and the one person you're seeking affirmation from actually gives it to you? And you feel on top of the world, accomplished, seen. Well, God feels that for you every day. 

I feel bad for my friends out there who are so condemned by their own minds and choices.

It's not God's will for harm to come to you.

It's not God's will for you to be alone.

It's not God's will for you to hate what you look like.

It's not God's will for you to be depressed.

Trust me, I've been thru depression, image issues, drugs/alcohol, sour friendships.. I get it.

But it doesn't have to control you.

And I praise God that although I walked thru a valley for nearly two weeks (self pity, feeling alone), I was able to overcome it with His Word, His grace, His love, and knowing His affections for me.

When you truly walk out in love, it's impossible to stay in the darkness.

I promise you that.

Try it today. 

Love you all.

Mahalo!

Hitch hiked with my students this weekend to a truly beautiful place.

Thank you God for your beauty, your forgiveness, and your constant blessings.

May I continue to be a vessel used by you, all of my days.