This is a little excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.
This book is my daily devotional.. little kick start for my day.
This one spoke to me heaps a few weeks ago, and I think it's appropriate to share after my last blog.
Vision & Darkness
"When the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, a horror and great darkness fell upon him." -Genesis 15:12
Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in "the shadow of His hand" (Isaiah 49:2). The saint's duty is to be still and listen. There is a "darkness" that comes from too much light - that is the time to listen. The story of Abram and Hagar in Genesis 16 is an excellent example of listening to so-called good advice during a time of darkness, rather than waiting for God to send the light. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not a period of God's displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him. (See Isaiah 50:10-11)
Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or others joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? "I am Almighty God..." - El-Shaddai, the All-Powerful God (Genesis 17:1) The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God.
****
--- As I said, I read this a few weeks ago in my devotional which was pretty impacting. It literally brought me joy in my time of darkness. My friend Nico (in the photo) would ask me what's wrong, or how I'm doing, and all I could say was 'something is off, I have no idea what it is, but I KNOW that God is going to teach me something epic'
And it was the weirdest thing. I had such peace at the same time I was having such pain.
Confusing right? That's the beauty of God. When you can fully trust in Him, even when you have no understanding or idea what is going on, just holdfast and know that something amazing is going to be brought to your mind, it will shape you for life.
I love when bad things happen to me, because I know I will be able to use it as a testimony to bring God glory.
I just sit patiently, try not to spend my time figuring it out, but trusting God for something crazy.
And I ALWAYS feel SO different at the end of a "dark" season!
This feeling of weight is lifted and my eyes feel renewed; it's as if I'm seeing things in a whole new light.
Praise you Abba, thank you for your goodness and faithfulness!
We are starting week six on Monday which is INSANE!
So far we've covered some YWAM Ships OC history, healing of wounded hearts, Father heart of God, YWAM DNA, Bible study and will now be stepping in to culture/missions!
I love sitting thru another lecture phase because there's always something new to learn!
Last week was great with Jonathan Spainhour! He taught our school how to do inductive Bible studies, as well as giving us a true meaning of what the Bible means to us.
Too often we get caught up in "religion" and "rules" and don't really understand what tools we have in front of us! That the men and women in the Bible were real people, these are real stories and encounters that have been passed on from generation, to generation, to generation..
I love seeing when something becomes "real" to the students and not just something they've been taught. YWAM is an international/interdenominational organization, so we have heaps of different beliefs filtering thru, with Jesus as the one core truth. It's beautiful to see peoples relationships develop and unfold, especially from the perspective of simply loving one another and doing what the Bible says. If you really sit down, read the words, build a personal understanding of the message being portrayed, placing yourself in that setting, feeling as the people felt, understanding the needs/culture/systems, it becomes alive and understandable. It's not about "oh, I read the Bible for 30 minutes today, I'm good to go!" - It's not about checking something off of a list, but truly grasp the message being taught and I promise you it will transform your life from the inside out.
It's so simple and yet, people have such skewed views, which is totally understandable!
I am privileged tho to be doing what I love, building amazing deep friendships and being surrounded by such loving and supportive staff to walk this journey with!
I'm currently reading a book by C.S. Lewis called "Screwtape Letters", have you ever heard of it?
A friend introduced me to it years ago (and the best advice she gave me was to read it when I was in a solid place with Christ, not easily wavered - And thank God she told me that because it would of confused the heck out of me had I read it any sooner!)
The story is written in "letters" from a senior demon (Screwtape) who writes to his nephew (Wormwood). Screwtape is mentoring Wormwood in his responsibility for securing damnation of a British man known only as "the Patient". C.S. Lewis provides a series of lessons in the importance of taking a deliberate role in living out Christian faith by portraying a typical human life, with all its temptations and failings, as seen from devil's viewpoints. In the body of the thirty-one letters, Screwtape gives Wormwood detailed advice on various methods of undermining faith and promoting sin in the Patient, interspersed with observations on human nature and Christian doctrine. To them individual benefit and greed are seen as the greatest good and neither demon is capable of comprehending God's love for man or for acknowledging true human virtue when he sees it. Their morals are basically opposite of most any Christ-followers and is super interesting/slightly confusing to read!
Had I read this a few years ago, I don't believe I would have been in a place to receive understanding, however, today it speaks so clearly! It's insane all the little things the devil does to steal, kill and destroy so much in our daily lives! It's re-opened my eyes to the intricate little schemes the enemy tries to bombard us with.
Our thoughts.
Those little distractions, "exceptions", the negative way we view ourselves or others; basically any weakness we have the enemy is already fully aware of and loves waiting for the opportunity to throw something at you and "show you how weak you are"! When in fact, the Lord God Almighty is already fighting for you! His Son has already won the war! We now have the Holy Spirit, we have the Bible, we have relationship with our Lord and know what he desires!
It's so simple for me to type all of that, but it's a completely different thing when it actually hits you and you truly grasp the fullness and truth of those words.
I love each and every one of you deeply, and would never want to "throw Christianity at you", but it truly is my prayer that you would find peace, understanding, happiness, eternal joy and so so much more. Christ really is the way, the truth and the life.
Yes, I still have my ups and downs! Lord knows it, but it's like a whole 'nother ball game.
I've slipped and had a few too many drinks in my new walk.
I've slipped and made some mistakes I had made in the past prior to my life with Christ.
I still have a temper.
I still get irritated and annoyed.
Sometimes, my roommate won't stop rolling around on the bunk above me and it's 2am and I want to scream at her!
BUT...
The enemy would love nothing more than for me to lash out, cause division/tension, say something hurtful, do something I'll regret, feed me lies to make me think I'll never be good enough, "God would never love me because I've messed up one too many times", and so forth.
Friends, this is bull.
We have choices.
We have options.
Our God isn't a controlling God.
He is loving and just.
He wants nothing but the best for YOU.. and for your neighbor.
It's beautiful how it works out, really.
I have been in a rut these past 5 weeks.
I have been down about my image, my relationship to the new students, felt disconnected from absolutely everybody (on this campus, in our school, friends/family back home, my students currently on outreach), just in a legit rut.
I wasn't happy.
Basically, the enemy was winning, I knew it and I didn't have the strength to fight it.
I felt unloved, unseen, friendless and useless.
(So it's kind of ironic Screwtape Letters fell in my lap again because it was a pretty sweet time to read it.. haha)
If you were to ask my friends I am staffing with, they would definitely tell you something has been off.
Little by little I was drifting away.. hating every moment of it because I KNEW the action I needed to take.. but was too prideful and stubborn to take it.
I usually love praying and interceding! However, at our morning meetings I would literally come in, not smile, avoid eye contact, not utter a word the entire time and be so thankful when it was over.
We would have lectures, if I had to talk to anyone, I was irritated.
Lunch, needed my space.
Afternoon, needed my space.
Dinner, needed my space.
Evening activities, show up just for the sake of showing up and interact only if I had to.
And the more I let this ugliness rule me, the more I wanted to hide and not be around anyone.
I HATE that so many people, myself included, buy in to this CRAP!
If you are someone isolating yourself, DON'T.
I woke up Thursday morning to this wonderful song in my head...
("Ding-Dong the witch is dead.." from Wizard of Oz)
I literally felt that if I were not around, our students would be happier. Staff would be happier. Nobody would miss me or even notice.
I felt that I was the witch that everyone wanted gone.
It wasn't that I wanted to go home, at that point, nowhere in the world would make me happy because the war is not of this world.
The battle lies much deeper; into the unseen. (But that's a whole 'nother blog) :)
HALLELUJAH! There was a breaking point tho!
Friday we were in class, lecture ended a little early and we were going to move into a time of openness; discussing where everyone was at, how their experience is thus far, etc.
The beautiful Holy Spirit tho, took us in a different direction, which was absolutely amazing.
I felt this was the time to bare my feelings, the Holy Spirit was nudging me to speak and I could NOT disobey anymore.
I haven't cried in a long time, and before I even opened my mouth I was crying. I told them how I felt, how the Wizard of Oz song had been eating away at me and you know what they did?
They didn't laugh. They didn't judge me. They spoke words of life and encouragement, embraced me.
They were not at all feeling the way about me I had "thought" they were.
I had built so much up in my mind and was being too stubborn to filter it out and let the Lord have it, that in my own strength I was down to nothing.
What do I love about being down to nothing?
Well, it's like my student posted on Facebook recently.. "Sometimes God lets you hit rock bottom so you can discover He is the rock at the bottom."
By my choice to not speak up, tell my friends how I was feeling, isolating myself, seeing the negative in everybody and everything I was allowing the enemy control over my mind!
And by enemy, I mean satan.
It's so true that the "thief" comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Friends, I share this with you because God gets all the glory.
He deserves it.
I can smile and laugh with my friends again.
I can walk in to a room and not feel alone.
I can enjoy the other staff.
I can stop pushing people away.
I can trust.
I am loved. Maybe not by you, but by an unchanging Father who accepts me in any mood, any shape, any way.
I'm sorry if anyone in the past or recently has hurt you and added to the walls you've been building up. It's so easy, in the moment, to push people away, to find excuses, to dwell on everything they are doing wrong.. But friend, I tell you that one day it WILL catch up to you.
God does not leave or forsake you. He will not leave you to fight the battle alone.
Speak things out in the name of Jesus.
It's not just a saying "get something off of your chest" but you truly make the enemy flee.
Your words are heavy.
If a negative word is so easy to leave your lips and do such damage.. How much better and more ready do you think your lips are to speak out love, to build one another up?
Do you want to be a person to bring change to the world?
Well, this is one thing you can do whether you are financially sound or not - Speak in Love.
You never know what lie the enemy is feeding to your friends, family, the man you walk by on the street..
Transitioning from one school to another is NOT easy!
My first batch of students left for outreach on December 24th, which then left us with about 10 days to transition and prep for the next school!
I didn't think this would be that big of a challenge, aside from making new manuals, decorating the classroom, beautification day, and all the little physical jobs we knew needed to be done.
But man, mentally and emotionally I was not prepared! It wasn't hard for me to say goodbye to my students because they're going on outreach and I'm SUPER pumped for them! However, I didn't realize it'd be so hard saying hello to my current students.
We had registration day on January 3rd (which is a crazy day when every single student, from every school, flies in). We met in O'Hana Court around 8am to begin!
Only problem, I woke up sick.
Whilst in the transition phase, I got out of my normal routine, stopped taking my vitamins, and before I knew it my body was shutting down. And fast.
So, after sitting in O'Hana Court for 12 hours, I was pretty well shot.
The next morning I couldn't even get out of bed. My nose was running so bad I had tissues just shoved up it to clog it! Haha, cute I know.
I ended up missing the Welcome Ceremony that is pretty epic.
Same as my first description many blogs ago. Gather at the flags, walk with native Islander's to O'Hana Court to present gifts, take a tour around campus, have time to meet as a school - then in the afternoon there's a Hawaiian barbecue, followed by a celebration in O'Hana Court.
Thankfully, I slept through all of it.
This is O'Hana court for the Welcome Ceremony in the morning.
Biggest quarter in YWAM history!
This is now what our food line looks like.
Generally about at least 25-30 minutes waiting in line, but it'll get better as the quarter goes on :)
Very first night students arrived, our dear sweet student decided to get his longboard out and hit the hills.. Accident #1.
So, life has been pretty eventful! After our students arrived and the Welcome Ceremony was had, they spent their first Saturday at the beach! I was still sleeping the day away, but completely content. I had no energy to try and beach it up with them! I spent the weekend relaxing, resting and fighting off the illness. Little did I know, I missed a pretty major time of bonding.
I was well enough by Monday to attend class.. however, I barely knew anyone's names and everyone was already "best friends"! I felt like a complete outsider walking in to our classroom Monday, it was quite a bummer.
So, as lectures began and our busy schedules picked up once again it was very hard for me to feel like I was in the right place. I struggled for a bit, doubted if I was supposed to be staffing this school and was pretty much having a pity-party. Horrible idea.
But praise be to God, come the second week of lectures things started looking up!
We grew way deeper as a school, definitely bonded and now I absolutely LOVE our students!
I definitely was in a lull with the Lord, doubting Him and if I was hearing Him correctly.
I was being pretty pissy with my fellow staff, irritated by everything, and then revelation just hit me like a hammer. I was being super stubborn, prideful, and avoiding situations like it was my job.
I just didn't want to deal with anything or anybody. Which is a bad place to be when you're in leadership.
Thankfully tho, it didn't last long.
I basically made myself start doing things opposite of what I wanted to do.
When I wanted to be alone, I went around people.
When I wanted to skip something, I showed up early.
When I wanted to say something, I made myself be quiet.
And little by little God began speaking to me and working thru the situations alongside me.
Funny thing is, He had been doing that all along.
I was just being too stubborn to admit it or look for His help.
I absolutely love God.
I love that what he calls us to do is love others.
How much joy, satisfaction, peace of mind, etc. was I receiving being pissed off and letting every little thing bother me?
The mind is a powerful thing, but once you begin to distinguish who is telling you to do what, life get's so much better.
God would never tell me to say something that would hurt someone else.
God doesn't want me avoiding his beloved children.
God doesn't want me controlling every situation and every last detail.
I had already sub-consciously set so many expectations, that I left no room for God.
None whatsoever.
And what did I reap of this?
Disbelief. Doubt. Guilt. "Poor me" mentality. Feeling as tho nobody liked me or wanted me around.
Rubbish.
Once I realized the situation I had let myself get in to, I knew I had to leave it as soon as possible.
I began spending more time with the Lord. Reacting and seeing people the way He sees them.
I let myself be overcome by His love, and in turn it flowed out of me, and hallelujah life is wonderful.
How many times do you let someone or something ruin your day?
How often do you get in a down mood and allow yourself to stay there?
How many times a day do you say something negative to yourself?
Friend.. You don't have to stay there.
I thank the Lord every single day that I am continually learning and growing and that I'm not going to be perfect, nor do I intend to be perfect.
I know I'm a child of the Lord Most High and my puny little thoughts are nothing compared to HIM.
He is beautiful, perfect, wants nothing but good.. Loves us enough to give us freedom and choice.
Friend, choose the right path today.
Choose joy.
Choose life.
Choose the positive thoughts.
Speak positively to yourself and others, and feel the difference!
You know that feeling, when you do something AMAZING and the one person you're seeking affirmation from actually gives it to you? And you feel on top of the world, accomplished, seen. Well, God feels that for you every day.
I feel bad for my friends out there who are so condemned by their own minds and choices.
It's not God's will for harm to come to you.
It's not God's will for you to be alone.
It's not God's will for you to hate what you look like.
It's not God's will for you to be depressed.
Trust me, I've been thru depression, image issues, drugs/alcohol, sour friendships.. I get it.
But it doesn't have to control you.
And I praise God that although I walked thru a valley for nearly two weeks (self pity, feeling alone), I was able to overcome it with His Word, His grace, His love, and knowing His affections for me.
When you truly walk out in love, it's impossible to stay in the darkness.
I promise you that.
Try it today.
Love you all.
Mahalo!
Hitch hiked with my students this weekend to a truly beautiful place.
Thank you God for your beauty, your forgiveness, and your constant blessings.
May I continue to be a vessel used by you, all of my days.
I have been horrible at updates again, time is flying!
Here's what we did for Christmas :)
Christmas was fantastic! We went to King's Mansion the Friday before Christmas, which is about a 20 mile drive and had a fabulous Love Feast before the students left for Outreach.
King's Mansion has quite an awesome story behind it.. In 1973 a YWAM student (Cindy) had a dream; she saw this house in her small group as they were praying for direction for YWAM in the Hawaiian Islands. One woman envisioned a large white house on a hill with a veranda and green shutters. As she spoke this out, Cindy had a vivid picture of this house - even where it was located on the island. Of course none of them had ever been in Kona before. Several years went by before Cindy and her husband, Tom, were in Kona for the first time. Loren Cunningham (YWAM Founder) picked Tom and Cindy up from the airport and took them to the new property that YWAM had gotten not too long before. It was King's Mansion, exactly as she has seen it in her prayer!
I believe the property was purchased in 1977 and to this day is used by YWAM. It's legit!
King's Mansion
My one-on-one and small group girls
*Jesse, Grace, Annemarie, Chana*
My girls
Our DTS ladies
Our ladies are legit
My dear sweet Renee and I
- After our Love Feast we spent the weekend cleaning. With everyone leaving for Outreach, it means we have to deep clean our bedrooms, make sure the students rooms are all clean, deep clean the classroom, deep clean our new classroom and then move everything in! It's crazy and semi-exhaustive. This campus is huge! But definitely feel accomplished when it's all said and done.
-------------------------------
Monday, December 24th, we spent shuttling our students to the airport! This was a sad day. I was ok with staying and staffing the next school when the decision was made a couple months prior, however, when the day arrived for them to all depart, I was so sad! I literally had empty nest syndrome. Their rooms were all vacant, their door signs were down, they were the last school on campus to leave for Outreach which meant the entire campus was bare! I was very blessed and spoiled by my first school and miss them like crazy!
Our Gracie girl cleaning out her room!
Tradition: drive around the flags a few times! The rest of our school made a tunnel!
My students.. At the airport.. Sad day!
This is a little video of our tunnel :)
All teams will be gone for 8 weeks!
The Fiji/Christmas Island Team
Their first couple weeks have been spent in Christmas Island, where they were welcomed and immediately tossed in to ministry! They learned traditional dances, have been performing, speaking and completely embraced by the islanders! They have been such a light to these people, it's amazing!
It's kind of hard to described exactly what their outreach team will be doing because they are pioneering this path and are going with the flow day by day. Their intent is to build relationships with islanders, speak in their churches, do physical labor where it's needed and basically be a blessing wherever it's needed!
The Brazil Team
Our Brazil team will be traveling up the Amazon River by boat, stopping in different villages, building relationships with the children and adults. Speaking in churches, playing with the kids and sharing the love of Jesus in any way possible. Their leader Kyle, the one hanging upside down in the tree, went there on his outreach so they are following up! They also get to sleep in hammocks, which is pretty legit.
The Caribbean Team
The Caribbean/Grenada team will be partnering with the Caribbean Reach ministry and sailing on their 74-foot sailboat to several different Islands in the Caribbean, Venezuela, and Colombia. They have the incredible opportunity to serve the local communities by helping with various building projects, teaching in local churches, facilitating youth programs, working with seniors and disabled, street evangelizing and serving peoples physical needs. Basically showing the love of God to the people in these nations.
So that's where my students have headed out to! It's been such a privilege and blessing getting to know them these past three months, and I CANNOT wait! to see what they're like when they return from outreach! Seeing people's lives changed, witnessing healings, being a blessing to people in need changes people, and I cannot wait to hear their stories.
What I've learned in the past three months: I love what I do.
I am blessed beyond blessed.
Getting to know these students has been quite the adventure. I was pretty psyched in the beginning to be staffing a school, and then preparing the school was rather difficult. Once the school began, it's safe to say my heart wasn't necessarily in the right place. I was worried more about how everything was running, if thing's weren't being done "by book" I was stressed and confused, and basically worrying about all the little things that help make it run, while being a bit blind to the relationship aspect. I wanted to serve our students; I sub-consciously thought it was by having everything ready and in running order, when in reality I needed to put the details on the back burner and be more focused on the person.
I'd say it was a Martha/Mary situation.
Know what that means?
Luke 10:38-42 "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distractedby all thepreparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things but few things are needed - or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
That is a small glimpse into the Martha and Mary I am talking about.
Sometime's its easy to want to have everything prepared and in great running order, but not having the best motives, unintentionally.
Needless to say, over a few weeks God revealed to me where my heart was, and it was a rude awakening. It was about the time my "sarcasm" blog was posted, and I realized how much damage I had caused in some relationships, simply because I had the wrong view.
Thus, why do I love what I do? Because I'm constantly in check with the Lord and surrounded by great people who can give correction in a loving manner. I've learned heaps and grown more in three months than I have in years.
And now! My students are gone on outreach, and today a new school has commenced! We have 20 students - from England, Australia, Germany, Canada, USA.
Aside from the growth I've personally had, another reason I love what I do is the end result. Seeing people's lives be rocked by Christ and their lives changed dramatically, there's nothing better! The students that I said goodbye to a week ago are definitely not the same students that arrived three months ago. And now, we are doing it all again.
It was great to meet the students today at Registration Day and see how different they are from my last students! I love God's timing, who he places with who, and being able to have a different understanding for this new school. I know I'm going to see fruit produced, and see changes in each individual. I'm so excited for these young men and women, and the journey that is before them that they have NO idea bout! I definitely feel more prepared, am stoked for my new one-on-one girls, my new small group and my potential Outreach group!
Needless to say, with all of this excitement I am also in a bit of a bind this quarter. The last school I rushed in to, arrived a little less than two weeks before the school started, ran with it and decided I definitely want to do this missionary business long term. Since this decision and confirmation from the Lord, I need to build a support group. I will need monthly support, yearly support, a one time donation, whatever anyone feels on their heart to do. I have housing/food fees, along with basic necessities, saving for outreach, and other expenses. If you would pray about becoming a supporter, that would be well appreciated. I will be sending newsletter's out soon via mail, will try and begin an e-mail newsletter soon, as well as posting blog updates, Instagram, and Facebook.
You can go to my support link found on my Homepage of this blog.
I have my support running thru YWAM El Paso, TX - Simply because it is the main headquarter for all YWAM supporters in the U.S. and if I switch bases or move around I don't have to change my support location each time. It gives me the freedom to either be in Hawaii for a bit and move to Orange County, or somewhere else, without having to have a one year+ commitment. Which is great, because YWAM Ships OC will most likely be jumping back and forth between a few bases.
If you need any information or have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me! Even $10 a month for laundry is appreciated!
E-mail me at taylerswaim@yahoo.com
------------------------
Another thing I'd love to share with you!
A few weeks ago we were having corporate worship and the children were invited on stage to "teach us old people how to loosen up!" It was the Monday after the CT. shooting at the Elementary school.
As my good friend Phil Cunningham pointed out, there were 20 children running across the stage. A few days prior 20 children lost their lives, this morning 20 children danced with life. I believe it was an amazing revelation and picture of those 20 dancing with Jesus who perished in Newtown, CT.
-------------------------
I also completed a 5 day "Lemonade Fast" which I would TOTALLY recommend to you!
Basically mix a drink containing cayenne pepper, fresh lemons and maple syrup. Drink nothing but that for 5 days, and feel amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated!
However, I do recommend you do a salt water flush the day before you begin.
Google it, do it, love it.
And definitely do the measurements they suggest.. This was day #1, and I put a little bit too much cayenne pepper and maple syrup.. Legitly thought I was going to puke.
Stephanie got quite a kick out of me chugging this..
-----------------------------
Also! I have been introduced to a legit new friend named Ollie.
Ollie is one of the most free spirited fun dudes I've ever met and he hung out on base during our transition weeks. He has a truck and loves to go to the beach! We hit up Mile 88 last weekend, which was soo fun. Madison, Ollie, Isaac and I spent the day body surfing, learned how to safely swim out past the two breaks, waded in the water and got scared of talking about sharks, and learned how to skim board!
Slight success
Don't try and go against the wind.. You go nowhere
Never have had so much sand in my hair, ever!
Pretty legit day, super blessed.
-------------------------
As I've said previously, I've gotten back in to running! I just wanted to share this photo because it's fun :)
This is Brad. Brad was my 5 am running partner.
He lost 20 pounds running in the mornings! Wish I could say the same..
But it was funny because we got injured A LOT, he continuously had shin splints, and my knee continued to act up.
If you would like to donate to my Running Shoes Fund, you can also email me about that ;)
Haha
---------------------------
I believe that is my update for the day! I am hoping I can update this again here in a few days!
Tomorrow we will have our Welcoming Ceremony by the flags, walk all the students around the campus, have our Aloha Dinner, our Aloha Ceremony at night, have a beach day Saturday and then begin another round of lecture phase on Monday!
I could use some prayer, just to stay focused and have my whole heart in this school.
It's definitely hard feeling so attached to my first students, because I absolutely love and adore each of them. I'm stoked to get to know these guy's for sure, but definitely need to refocus a bit.
Most people staff one or two schools a year. It's pretty crazy to staff back to back, because it is so emotional and intense. My first school left less than 10 days ago and now I'm being introduced to heaps of young men and women who are on fire to grow and learn! I want to keep my eyes focused on Christ and not be half in.
Never thought I would spend two years in a row in the tropics without a white Christmas!
God is SO amazing and has so many plans that I never saw coming.
I've learned to be extremely grateful for my past, the hurts and the good times. It has strengthened me and prepared me in areas I didn't even know existed.
I love looking at my life in retrospect.
God has always been present, even in the times it felt He was nowhere to be found, yet He never left my side and was paving a path I could never have done myself.
I'm beyond grateful.
I'm also grateful you are along this journey with me.
Christmas was beautiful.
Our Base Director's Brett & Karen Curtis invited us up to their condo for an amazing dinner and dessert! We played Monopoly Deal, watched Troy, build a gingerbread house, and had amazing conversations all thru out. I'm extremely blessed by YWAM Ships, everyone involved is extremely laid back, chill, sweet, kind hearted, east to converse with, and extremely genuine. I love where I am in life. Christmas was definitely different this year than last year in Australia. All of our students were gone, there was prolly 20 of us up at Brett & Karen's and it felt like a very lazy day, which was an odd feeling.
Our lovely gingerbread house!
Our gingerbread house collapsed about 10 minutes after we were finished.. Haha
This is a green journal Brett & Karen got me as a present! Totally unexpected, now full of scripture, and beautiful quotes, especially from Mother Teresa :)
I also got an amazing surprise package from my parents! As my heart is geared towards Justice Issues in the world, I have decided that this quarter if I want any new clothes, headbands, etc I will only purchase Fair Trade and Direct Trade items; so if they are from India (for example) it won't come from Wal-Mart but will specifically be from an Organization that the money will directly return to. It won't support sweat shops, but support women who have escaped the sex-trade industry, or children escaping abuse, etc. I hadn't told anybody this, and my parents bought me a few headbands and a travel jewelry case that were direct trade! The little tag had the signature of the woman who made the items, which was the most special part. My parents keep blowing me away with their awesomeness. It meant the world to me that they acknowledged where my heart is, and in return were able to help people out! They also sent me a beautiful silver/blue bracelet that is my treasured gift.
I'm just a lucky girl and had to brag.
Along with this crazy amazingness, my dear friend Jami sent me a care package!
This is a pretty neat story. Jami and I met our Freshman year in High School, became good friends and stayed decent friends thru out High School. We just always got along, whether we hung with the same crowd or did the same things or not. She has always been a joy, a woman who always brings laughter and a smile to any room she walks in. It's funny how Facebook has allowed me to be a creeper on her life these past few years post High School and to feel as tho we were friends, but kind of not at the same time. So anyways, we ran into each other at a bar of all places a couple weeks before I left Michigan for Hawaii. We reconnected, I totally got to share my heart with her and catch up! It was SUCH a blessing and encouragement. When I came to YWAM Ships she had emailed me saying she'd like to send me care packages to support what I'm doing. (As you all know, being a missionary means you don't buy anything but necessities.. especially right now, have zero supporters, kinda rough). So, I thought it'd just be a little package - NO! I should have known better with Jami!
Jami sent me a box filled with heaps of wrapped gifts! They were basic things a girl loves :) Some granola bars, nail polish, mousse, face mask, etc.!
I was absolutely blown away by the kindness she showed to me! I love that someone you haven't seen in years cares enough about what you do to support it, in such a legit way.
My students thought it was legit, it inspired heaps of people and was a blessing to many people.
What an angel.
---------
Aside from the amazing gifts, I was also able to finally Skype my grandma in Wyoming! My mom's dad Rex Tryon passed away December 9th, which was pretty hard. He had a stroke when I was in 3rd grade and has been paralyzed ever since. I would visit him and hang out with him while I lived in Wyoming and was very blessed by him. I definitely didn't think the last time I left Wyoming would be the last time I'd see him. Even tho he was old and is better off, it still sucked. I definitely needed a Skype session with my grandma and am super thankful my mom was able to fly out there for a few weeks to spend much needed mom time.
Which then left dad and Chris at home, haha, which had to be pretty weird!
Glad my daddy is up to date with technology tho and I was able to Skype him as well!
Very great Christmas.
So ya, I'd have to say that my Christmas in Hawaii was pretty darn legit. I'm a very lucky girl, surrounded by amazing people, building relationships in Kona and all over the world!
Thank you Lord for all you provide.
Thank you for the communication and how easy it is to stay in touch with family and friends!
Thank you for people you bring back into our lives.
Thank you that friendships never die.
Thank you everything you created and are allowing me to enjoy.
